Man's Best Friend

Okay, I'll admit it....I once got into a pissing contest with my dog.

We were out in the deep woods chasing rabbits (okay...HE was chasing rabbits), on a glorious Fall afternoon, about a mile or two away from civilization. I had to pee. Sooo...I began to relieve myself against a nearby tree. My dog, who was maybe 25-30 yards ahead of me, immediately alerted, ears and nose pricking up, and came running at me in a beeline....stopping right in front of me. I had to stop doing what I was doing to avoid soaking man's best friend. My dog looked up at me, sniffed the bottom of the tree, and hiked his leg up and began to whizz.

I waited patiently for him to walk smugly away, then finished peeing atop where he had just sprinkled. Folks, I've never seen a dog look so irritated in my life. He sauntered back and peed over where I'd finished, then gave me a look that said "top that!"

So I did.

I managed to shake out 3 or 4 drops just to piss him off (bad pun intended). He sniffed some more.

I was jeering at him by now... "Come on, you mutt...I can do this all day, dog!"

...and I looked down in time to notice he was pooping on my foot.