A Veteran of Two Armies

I am a proud veteran of the armies of two nations. I served in the United States army in the late 1970s, then deserted America to join the army of Lomoxo in 1980. Let me explain.

Lomoxo is a fictional nation that has been at war with the United States for several decades. Their standing army has invaded Fort Benning, Georgia. They exist solely to harass and kill students of the US army infantry school, the Officer Candidate School, and phase three (Dahlonega phase) of the US army ranger course.

Lomoxo recruits almost exclusively from the nearby 11th Special Forces group, which I was attached to as a member of the US Army Reserve upon my release of active duty. In turn, we'd convince the "civilian populace" (usually high school/college ROTC or in a pinch, Marine reservists) to help us wage war upon the Army.

Life was never dull in the Lomoxo army. We'd stay up late at night one weekend a month and two weeks each summer making life miserable for soldiers. One memorable weekend had us successfully annihilate an entire platoon of 40 or so officer-wannabees without a single casualty of our own: on a field training exercise, both of their sentries fell asleep at 2 a.m. and we wiped out the imperialist Yankee aggressors in less than five minutes.

We occasionally "rioted" for the benefit of Army National Guard units training at Benning, and soon learned to carry gas masks in "urban enviornments" to prevent sob stories (i.e. tear gas cannisters).

Hunting sniper-wannabees was always fun too. They taught "cover and concealment" at Fort Benning, and they did a fantastic job of it. If we found a sniper-school candidate hiding in the woods, we'd get excused from night duty. Wonderful cat-and-mouse ensued. Sadly, I never caught one.

We loved finding bunched up groups of infantry together, because that meant it was time for "grenade fest" (throwing 4 pound cast iron training grenades at their positions). One time an OCS cadet reacted with reflexes I've never seen before or since, jumped up, caught the grenade with his bare hands and threw it right back at me, hitting me square in the chest. Ouch. (For the record, that was one of only two times I ever "died"). The guy who killed me is probably a General today.

I'm proud of my service in both of the armies I served in.