IAD - MCO All Nippon Airways (USAir codeshare)

First time I've been on a 747 in a long while. First time I've EVER been on a Japanese flagged carrier, this is a Tokyo-Dulles-Orlando flight that I've picked up at Dulles.

Uneventful first half hour, until we get over Fayetteville, NC. All of a sudden I hear excited squawking in Japanese from the cockpit on the public address. I am on the left side of the plane, and virtually EVERYONE on the right side of the plane stands up and rushs over to the left side.

For a fleeting moment I thought there was trouble on the plane...but then I notice almost all these friendly Japanese folks are getting out cameras.

I look out the window... and far below our plane is a large KC-135 tanker plane refueling a pair of military fighter jets.

The cameras are clicking furiously.

Most impressive to look down upon!

Tai Chi Whiz

ATL - PDX Delta

Got a comp first class upgrade to Portland...makes all the difference in the world. Long flight from Atlanta, all oriental flight attendants (this flight stops in Portland and then goes on to Japan).


About an hour into the flight, an older guy stands up in the middle of the first class aisle and starts doing tai chi movement exercises. It's intrusive as all hell, but everyone pretends not to notice. Another guy stands up and opens an overhead bin, to get his laptop out...

....and Mr. Tai Chi whirls and cracks his temple on the raised overhead bin door. *Lights Out!* He crumples into the aisle, a huge knot forming on his forehead...


.....and everyone pretends not to notice.

In The Pink

MCO - LEX Delta Express

Early morning flight to Lexington for a big presentation. I've got the "power suit" on, my favorite blue pinstripe. I'm a master of my domain today. I'm sitting in the front row of a Delta Express, no first class regrettably. Next to me is a cute girl about nine or so in the middle seat. She's wearing one of those big red and white striped buttons that Delta gives to unaccompanied minors.

I'm making last minute changes to some Powerpoint slides when the little girl falls asleep...her head nestled against my left arm. Awwwww....how sweet.

We land uneventfully and the little darling wakes up. They open the front door and I stand up...

...and there is a big...no HUGE...blob of chewing gum in the crease fold of my suitcoat that I've been wearing the whole trip. It's the size of a baseball, and when I stood up it stretched pink gum in ALL directions. It's a wool suit and dammit the gum just won't come off. Little darling must've had it fall out her mouth when asleep.

I try, with no luck whatsoever, in the terminal bathroom to get this mess off. Nothing works. I have to show up for my presentation in a shirt and tie only, no way am I gonna face 20+ senior bankers like this. People on the team with me that are assisting with the presentation all try to catch my attention: "Psst! Suit Jacket? Where's your coat?"

Yeah yeah, I know....