The Fire Down Below

One thing I am NOT proficient in is mechanical repairs.

Two weeks ago, we bought a dorm refrigerator for my college-bound youngest daughter. Unfortunately, it leaked in our garage, shorting out the electrical system on our golf cart and the charger it was hooked up to.

I was looking at over $600 in repairs. I made the decision that, mechanically incompetent or not, I'd try and rewire the golf cart myself. How hard could it be?

Not too hard, as it turned out. I spent Sunday rewiring the harness and using a 12 volt auto charger to "jump start" the 6 volt golf cart batteries two at a time. Tested my handiwork out with a quick spin around the neighborhood and went to bed happy and smug.

I decided to take the cart to Lake Peachtree at the crack of dawn this morning to run around the lake. I was three miles away from my house when I smelled the unmistakeable odor of ozone and burning wiring.

Uh Oh.

The instrument panel flickered twice on the cart and I lost all power going up a somewhat steep hill.....and began rolling backwards.

Double Uh Oh.

Did I mention that the brakes on our cart weren't the greatest in the world?

Triple Uh Oh.

I am literally STANDING on the brake pedal and finally coast to a stop at the bottom of the hill....and I realize my rear end is uncomfortably warm...

I yanked off the padded seat to see that the wiring harness had become disconnected from the battery array and was gapping and smoking and putting on an awesome display of 36 volts of direct current "lightning" to the battery post.

I tried to pull the wiring harness away from the battery, and got quite a jolt of current through my body for my troubles. Burned the heck out of two fingers. Was not happy.

Decided to let the cart cool down for a few minutes, then went back to assess the damage.

I was shocked to see that the post on the battery (where the wires connect to) had MELTED, there was nothing left but a puddle of solder!!

It was a long walk home.

Gee, Aren't You "Special"?

Today I had to take my oldest daughter to a doctor's appointment up in Marietta, GA. She was not a happy camper. It was pouring down rain. Hoping to cheer up Little Miss Gloomy, I treated her to lunch at Marietta's legendary Big Chicken restaurant.

She was in a bad mood, I was too. I had made the mistake of running this morning, and then it rained. For some reason, rain and running make the six bones I broke in my left leg in the Great Parachute Mishap of 1978 hurt like crazy, and I limp very noticeably when that happens.

While we were eating, a long white bus pulled into the parking lot and about 20 to 25 special needs people entered the restaurant, along with about a dozen attendants. They were having the BEST time, they were in awe of being inside the Big Chicken!! It was great seeing a group of people enjoying themselves like they were, and they all settled down into seats around us.

Well, my daughter wanted a refill on her drink so like a good father I took her empty cup and began limping up to the Coke machine for a refill. I had taken about five or six steps when I felt someone grab me gently but firmly by the right elbow. It was one of the attendants for the special needs group. He looked at me, smiled and said "We're going to sit over here today, okay?"

Okay?

Then in one cosmic cataclysmic moment we looked at each other and our eyes simultaneously widened as we both realized.....

Him: Oh my God, this limping guy is NOT IN OUR GROUP!
Me: Oh my God, this guy thinks I'm IN HIS GROUP!

He turned red, I turned red and we both laughed, embarassed...

....but not as hard as my daughter, who had watched the situation unfold.

I brought back her refilled drink, and she chuckled "Gee, Dad, aren't YOU 'special'"?

P.S. I took that picture above with my cell phone in the driving rain as we were leaving the restaurant and almost got run over in the parking lot....

She Was Crying By The Side Of The Road

She stood there by the side of the road, holding a six month old baby. She was sobbing uncontrollably...

I'm working from home this week, revising project plans. My head was spinning from linking 100+ project dependencies, and I decided to clear my thoughts by taking a morning run.

I got out on one of the 80 miles of shaded golf cart paths here in Peachtree City, setting off earthquake detectors within a 15 mile radius as I rumbled on a leisurely 4 mile jaunt.

I was on the service path behind the new elementary school when I saw her. She was standing next to her golf cart, which had been pulled awkwardly off the road. She was standing there, gazing at the elementary school playground. She was holding what looked to be a six month old girl, and she was crying uncontrollably.

Sometimes your actions are automatic....I immediately stopped running, smiled and approached her and said conversationally "It's too pretty a day to be crying.....can I do something to help you stop?"

She looked at me and turned a bit red. Balancing her infant on one hip, she turned and pointed to the playground.

"It's my oldest's first day of school today....I thought I was ready for this day... but... but... I'm not!!" The tears really came rushing out....

I smiled....and thought back to the first day of school for my oldest kid, so many many years ago. We made small talk about kids and milestones, about next steps and how the years seemed to pass in the blink of an eye.

Interestingly, I felt like we talked about 15 minutes but when I looked at my watch just about 5 minutes had passed. I got her to smile....she obviously wanted someone to talk with... and finally wished her and her children all the best in life and went thundering down the road once more.

I was smiling the rest of my run.

What do you mean, she "failed"?

I woke up in the middle of the night with a start: yesterday was my birthday...and I had forgotten to renew my car tags! (Car tags expire on your birthday in Georgia)

Got up at the crack of dawn this morning to go get the mandatory emissions test for the car, a.k.a a waste of $25.

The technician had a sad look on his face..."I'm sorry sir, your car has failed the emissions test."

"Whaddya mean she 'failed'? The car is only five years old!"

"Well, sir, it failed the gas cap pressurization test..."

I interrupted "I just don't see how that can be possible on a late model car!"

"uh, sir, that's just it.....you don't have a gas cap on your car."

"I don't...have.... a gas cap?"

Sure enough, there's a gaping hole behind the little door where the gas cap used to live quietly for so many years. I have no idea how long I've been driving without a gas cap, I think I last filled up the tank three weeks ago.

I'm off to NAPA auto parts to buy a $13 gas cap replacement......

"The Fish Are Dying!"

Against my better judgment, my youngest daughter Jenni inherited a fully stocked aquarium from her loving maternal grandparents last Christmas. I told her in no uncertain terms that she would be taking this aquarium off to college with her, as I had no interest in any pet that can't say "woof". She said she'd be quite happy to take her fishies with her.

Well, today was The Big Day: my daughter was moving into her dorm at Georgia college. We dutifully packed approximately 450 pounds of her favorite clothing into my wife's Pontiac Grand Am (I wish I'd taken a pic of the sagging back end of the car!!) and prepped the aquarium for the Big Move.

We opted to take "the shortcut" and bypass the interstate altogether in the interest of saving time and gas. This meant a long boring haul on a two lane logging road through the Oconee national forest.

An hour into the two hour trip, my daughter yells from the back seat "Dad! The Fish Are DYING!" I glance in the rearview mirror and sure enough, it's Goldfish Armaggeddon. My wife is of no help whatsoever ("Maybe they're not totally dead yet...maybe they're mostly dead") ...I think she's watched Billy Crystal as Miracle Max in the Princess Bride too many times...

I'm feeling a bit helpless at this point...we've transported the aquarium before for hours with no problems. Not so today. We arrive at the college and the inside of the car is smelling like, um, spoiled fish. I quickly arrange for a hasty naval funeral ("burial at sea" in the dorm visitor's bathroom) while my wife attempts to console my daughter "we'll get you some fresh fish" ("I don't WANT 'fresh fish' sobs my daughter).

We ended up bringing the empty aquarium home.

RIP Penelope, Chomper and Dubya.

Technology Arms Race continues..

My terrible techie arms race with Wayne Botha continues....testing simultaneous twitter/facebook/blog update..

Pay It Forward EIGHT YEARS!

In the aftermath of the 9/11 attacks, an unfortunate situation occurred in my sleepy little subdivision: the only Arabic family (technically, they were from Syria) in our neighborhood were essentially treated like pariahs.

Their 12 year old son actually asked me if it was "okay if he and my son could still be friends". He said he would understand if I said "no". I laughed at him and told him to stop asking ridiculous questions like that....of course it was "okay" for them to be friends!!

Now, I hadn't seen him since he and my son graduated high school some years ago, and quite frankly I had forgotten about our little conversation. He, however, had not forgotten. It must have left a powerful impression upon him, because today, out of nowhere, EIGHT YEARS LATER...he was able to do my family a very nice favor that was greatly appreciated (forgive me if I'm being deliberately vague here on the details, it's a bit sensitive but appreciated nonetheless!)

I have a better appreciation for the concept of "Paying it forward"!