The Joy of "Pre-diabetes"

I had my yearly physical last year on my birthday. Okay, my birthday is in August but I didn't actually get around to having my physical until November, but hey I was busy...

I'm a year older and a bit more arthritic. As expected, osteoarthritis has arrived like a freight train right on schedule. Me and Celebrex have begun a lifelong intimate relationship together.

I had bloodwork drawn at my physical, of course. Results came in a week later. Losing weight (65 pounds!) has allowed my liver function tests to be normal, yahoo!

The only cloud in an otherwise blue sky was my fasting blood glucose test: it had ranged consistently between 95 and 99 for over 10 years, but this year it inched up to 100. Congratulations, Mr. Jensen, you're officially "pre-diabetic" now.

What does that mean? Oh, it's just a classification. I'm supposed to take the next step in diabetic testing, drinking 12 ounces of sweetened sludge and get my blood drawn for 2 hrs straight.

...not gonna happen.

My surgically sleeved stomach cannot hold 12 ounces of anything any longer, anything over 4 ounces gets flushed into my gut directly and screws up any and all lab results. Ooops!

So we go from stage 1 testing (fasting blood sugar) to skipping stage 2 (sweetened sludge) all the way to stage 3 (an a1c test).

Simply put, a1c measures how well your red blood cells process sugar for the past 3 months.

I had my a1c test yesterday, and got my a1c results back today. They were...interesting.

My number was 5.8

I compared that against my numbers from 1992, 1998, 2005 and 2008: I've been rock solid steady (ranging 5.7 to 5.8) my entire life.

So that's good.

I also found that they rescaled the "normal range" in 2010. 

 

Prior to 2010, "normal" was anything less than 6.0, abnormal was greater than 6.0.

In 2010, they broke it into 3 bands: normal (<5.7), "pre-diabetic" (5.7 to 6.2) and diabetic (over 6.2). So technically, I'm "pre-diabetic" on the new scale and "normal" on the old scale. Since my levels haven't budged in 21 years, I think I'm pretty safe.

They said if my cholesterol was high, I could lower my A1C by eating more fiber. If cholesterol was normal (and mine is), I can generally lower my A1C by eating less refined sugar.

Soooo....bottom line: less sugar in 2013!!

Gym Dandy

The first week in January is simultaneously one of my favorite and least favorite weeks of the year.

On the plus side, it's the only week of the year when I am guaranteed not to be the fattest person in the gym. It's also great for people watching there, huge crowds waiting to use gym equipment. People wearing their new exercise outfits, lifting gloves and especially weightlifting belts.

On the negative side, I cringe watching people do some really dangerous stuff at the gym. Slinging weights, dropping plates, and a myriad of technique flaws that must cause an average of about one torn knee or elbow ligament an hour.

I was doing incline bench presses today, trying my level best to concentrate on the bar, and overheard what can only be described as a "cougar attack" occur about 10 feet away from me: a 40-something woman, not in bad shape, pouring out her marital woes to a 20-something personal trainer. I wondered if he knew he was being propositioned.

In any event, I successfully tortured my chest and legs today.

You say you want a resolution?

To paraphrase the Beatles (they were a band that Paul McCartney was in prior to Wings)...

 ♫♫ You say you want a resolution....wellll, you know...we'd all love to hear your plan! ♫♫

2012 is in the books. For me, it was a pretty good year, a year of transition.

I'm looking forward to 2013. Every once in a while I get the urge to do a lot of  New Years Resolutions, this year is one of those years.

Sooo without further ado, here goes Bob's plan for 2013:

• Blog more. I enjoy writing short-form, blogs are the perfect vehicle for this. I want to make a conscious effort to blog at least weekly. (maybe I should have said "blog at least weakly"?)
• Earn my long-overdue Distinguished Toastmaster designation by May 1st, 2013
• Continue my quest to lose 100 pounds
• I lost 64 pounds in 2012 after I had my stomach sleeved ("stapled").
• 36 more pounds to go. I weigh 266 pounds today, January 1st, 2013. Hard to believe I was 330 pounds on June 1st last year!
• My first mini-goal is 260 pounds on February 1st, 2013. I will weigh less than my father on that date.
• My second mini-goal is 255 pounds on March 1st, 2013. On  that day I will be able to ride a Segway. I was crushed when I found out I weighed too much to take a Segway tour of Washington DC with my daughter last year....that was one of the deciding factors in my decision to have stomach surgery
• My third mini-goal is 246 pounds by May 1st, 2013. On that day, I'll be medically classified as being "overweight" and not "obese". I've transitioned from borderline "Morbidly obese" through "Severely Obese" and am now at plain old "Obese". I'll make a quick trip through "Overweight" to the final destination of "Normal".
• I will begin making motivational speeches this year. I am a very accomplished humorous speaker, and I can do dramatic and/or theatrical speeches as well. Motivational speeches are the one type of speech that is completely out of my comfort zone. Dramatic speeches were out of my comfort zone too, as recently as three years ago. I have a high degree of confidence to deliver any type of speech now, so I'll work on motivational/inspirational speechifying in 2013. I want to give at least 5 of them (if past history is a guide, I'll develop one or two motivational speeches and practice at various Toastmaster clubs.
• Help my "home" Toastmaster club, Cy-Fair Super Speakers, double in membership from 17 to 34 this year. I'm the membership chairman, I've done this before at other clubs.
• Save up for plastic surgery. I'm on track to lose 100 pounds, and realistically I'll need an abdominoplasty to remove extra sagging skin around my midsection. It's $20,000 here in Houston, or about $6,000 if I go the medical tourist route again. I'll probably choose the latter, as I had a lot of success doing medical tourism with my stomach.
• Upgrade my wardrobe..this sounds frivolous, but I have an extensive wardrobe that no longer fits me. I've tried getting suits altered but they have to be completely re-cut to accomodate the new, leaner me. This is going to be expensive.
• Discontinue cardio workouts for the first 6 months of 2013, and focus on weightlifting, particularly upper body. I have strong, muscular legs and a relatively weak upper body. I need to bring my upper body (chest/back/shoulders) in line with my lower body.
• Bench press my weight by the end of 2013!
• Take a "real" vacation. I've got a lot of vacation time saved up...and I want to go somewhere.

As you can see, I have a very ambitious 2013 planned....nothing but good times ahead!