How To Pickup Flight Attendants

Flying the red-eye special from Las Vegas to Houston. I opted to spend $69 of my princely $85 in gambling winnings to upgrade to First Class. Sadly, all the window seats were taken so I was sitting on the aisle.

We had an uneventful climb-out of Las Vegas, and the guy in the row ahead of me asks the flight attendant for a blanket.

She opens up the overhead compartment directly across from my seat...

And a carry-on bag comes tumbling out and hits her...HARD...on the shoulder.

She topples backward...I have literally a millisecond to react, and I "catch" her as she falls directly into my lap. My left arm catches her back, my right arm is under her knees...basically she's pinned my arms to the arm rests, I'm cradling her.

Naturally, everyone turns to look.

I say the first thing that comes to mind:
"Please exercise caution when opening the overhead compartments as items may have shifted during takeoff and landing".

Much laughter in First Class.

The mightily embarassed flight attendant, who is being a good sport about this, nuzzles my neck and whispers throatily in my ear "You're such a smartass..."

Why yes, yes I am!